It's All Downhill Tonight.

Just as I think my day was going great today, it all turns to shit. I'm being serious.

Let me tell you how good my day WAS going. First off, I was getting along great with my Brother, and we NEVER get along. I even gave him a really good haircut today, and I was really proud of myself. Also, I got a lovely text message from my girlfriend this morning, and it said, "Goodmorning baby! I'll call when we get back today. I love youu! Bye handsome <3">.>
After that though, we had all gone out to eat at Chili's. The food was great, and nothing had gone wrong. To me, it seemed like we got our food awfully fast!

Sorry to ruin everything, but here comes the bad part...
So I get home after a great time and I went on myspace and noticed that my girlfriend had been frustrated with something. So I called her as soon as I noticed it and her sister answered the phone and had told me she was in the shower. So I waited until she got out, or until her sister told her that I had called. So after about an hour of waiting, she tells me the bad news. I guess her Mom's boyfriend had been drinking, like always, and kept yelling and yelling at her. So, I got upset from that, cause I hate that man, a lot. Then, my girlfriend tells me that some boy, that we despise with a passion, is staying the night at her house. OH! Not to mention this boy used to like Brittany, a lot. He'd leave picture comments flirting with her and shit while we were dating. So, of course, I am nervous. Not because of her, cause I know she'd never do that to me, but because of him. I swear to God, I never will fight a single soul on this universe, but if he lays a hand on her, he's going to get his ass kicked, no doubt. I'm tired of people trying to get in the middle of every single one of my relationships, and I'm NOT going to let some kid get in the middle of my best one yet. And I'm sorry if you read this Brittany, but I think it was pretty hypocritical of you honestly. You got sad because someone from school told me she'd see me at my brother's orientation, which in fact I didn't even see, and you expect me not to be sad over this?

I think this whole jealousy thing needs to be solved. I'm tired of it, you're tired of it. We can't keep having jealousy issues with over stupid people. It is good to have every now in then to be cautious of things, but not now. We are just teenagers, we need to start being more of adults about everything. We're strong I know we can do it baby.

I'm going to go read my book. Sorry about this rant, I was just getting to me.

p.s. I just coughed up blood. Great :/

NeverendingSleep.

After a long day, I decided some lovely rest for my eyes would be lovely on my part, yet before I did fall into a rock hard sleep, I decided to text her because it had seemed as if I had to end the conversation with a sweet, "I love you," and a "goodnight." So while waiting for a reply, which had never came to my side of the phone, I fell asleep. I guess they are right when they say, "things happen for a reason."

My eyes are now sown tightly together as the film strip clicks and clicks, while showing me the way things would be with no one; on my own. Everything was dark. No one was there. It felt like I was starring in the movie "Cube," or some shit. Noises, strange ones, were coming from every direction. There were sounds, silent sounds, similar to a dog whistle, yet it was for the human ear only.

Stumbling back and fourth, I realized that this is what it's like with no one there in your life. I realized how great full I am to have my girlfriend, my family, and of course my friends.

What get's me is...what do you think would have happened if I got a text message that night from her?

So The Wonder Begins

I've come to a conclusion, that ever since I've started dating Brittany, I've discovered a whole new me. I feel like a better person, and I feel as if I can think things through more. I'm so glad that her an I are together. And it's been almost a year!

By the way, sorry about the whole, "not posting a blog in a while" thing. I haven't really had anything to talk about really, but now I do!

So my Mom has actually came to the conclusion that she can fully trust me. Ever since I've realized that, I've been gaining more respect for her, and she seems to be having more respect in me too. Things are just going great, and I love it. I mean, for God's sake, my Mom has let Brittany stayed the night here, and I'm glad my Mom and her get a long well.

Out of all of this happiness, I do have one thing to say. I'm absolutely sick of everyone doing drugs, and drinking, and smoking, and posting it, and bragging about it EVERYWHERE. Seriously people, must you do that? God, must you do drugs in the first place? Drugs are just as overrated as Twighlight, The Jonas Brothers, Lady Gaga, and now 3OH3!

Another great thing I've realized, is that I've been getting back into skateboarding again, A LOT more. I skate just about every Tuesday and Thursday, and honestly, the little break from skateboarding I took I think helped me out a lot more. I'm not as afraid to do things I couldn't do before.

Anyways, new video on youtube tomorrow! Hopefully! I'm trying to be more original, because I don't want to be like all the other vloggers and youtubers. Here's the link, views would be nice, and so would subscribers!
youtube.com/abolishanthony
And if you haven't followed me on Twitter yet, then here's that link also-
twitter.com/abolishanthony

I love you guys! Buh bye..

Wishes for the helpless.

I wish I could be less of a fuck up.
I wish I could please everybody.
I wish I could take apart my body when not in use of something.
I wish I could have a better mother.
I wish I didn't have paranoid thoughts.
I wish things weren't interrupted; time flies by anyways.
I wish God would help me, not through everything, but when there was nothing else to go to.
I wish I didn't have to make these wishes; nothing is ever easy. Not Now Not Ever.

Banish me from here.

Idek.

I'm having a very strong lack of patience lately. I feel selfish, yet at the same time, you are pretty much the reason for this. I try to make this work, but all I seem to do is fuck it up. I'm trying to see you as much as possible, because we're going to be away from each other for two and a half weeks while I'm gone.
You know, something tells me that you don't feel the same about me anymore. You feel like I've drifted from you. You always say I make things hard on you, and honestly, that's what a fuck up is. I mess everything up that walks in my path, it's like a curse that has probably been passed down from generation to generation, and now is stuck right with me. Seriously, I've been cheated on, I've been used, I've been accused of things I haven't done, I have "SCAPEGOAT" written on my forehead.
I'm not trying to rush you with crap, but it's like, you don't want to hangout with me, and you just aren't telling me because you think I'll be sad. For God sakes, of course I'm going to be sad, but be honest with me. You haven't really been doing that, and it's like, if I say "Well, I can tell that you don't want to hangout today, so it's whatever, we'll hangout some other time.." then you get all offensive and get mad at ME. I just want honesty. I just want you to tell me when you don't want to do something, because like I said before, my honest opinion is that you either have been like this before and kept a good secret about it, or you just don't care for me as much as you used to. I really would like to know. What I really do want to know though, is why?
You weren't like this before, you're different now. You don't act the same around me. You seem to have an attitude with me lately. I'm trying to let you run things the way you want, but I'm doing the wrong thing by that, because it's supposed to be what WE want, not just you, not just me. Another thing that's nagging me is that you never set a time or anything to see me, or make plans. For an example; every time we see each other. I'm trying to make this a little more organized, wouldn't you like that? It's easier. I could be doing other things, I could be hanging out with my friends instead of sitting here and doing nothing but waiting and losing my patience. You always say that I should hangout with my friends, but if you are going to hangout with me at like 5, or 5:30, i.e. "today" then, let me know therefore I could plan for something for ME to do. It's really not fair, that you can do what YOU want for the time before you see me, and I can't. I just don't know anymore, but I hope you read this. I'm really not mad at you, I'm just getting a little agitated by it because I'm trying to help this relationship, because I don't want it to weaken anymore than it already has. I'm sorry.

Seriously,

If I see one more picture of anything Twilight related, I'm honestly going to explode. I can't stand it anymore. Robert and Kristen(Kirsten?) are such terrible actors. The love concept behind the movie sucked. I can't really say anything about the book, but all I can say is that Twilight is 100% overrated. They're only making a new movie because they know that all these teenage girls thought Edward was "hot" and most of them probably fucking masturbated to them. Not all, because I know a couple of people who aren't THAT attracted to him, but yeah. Anyways, they should have kept it as a book, and a book only. Also, I hate how they compare it to Harry Potter. I mean c'mon, Harry Potter is so much better. Anyone ever heard of "Alex Evans?" He practically looks like Harry Potter's twin for goodness sakes, and no one is going to sweat his dick?

Sorry, I just had to vent this shit out because it was pissing me off. But it helped.
Be glad to state your honest opinion, so I could either argue against, or agree with you.

Please//

God, if you're there, please help me. I'm in desperate need of you. I'm crying for forgiveness of my awful sins, I just need you to help me. Help me find a new opening, yet let me still be with the one girl I've committed my life to. Please God, please.

Oasis.

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

This is such an amazing song. Most people think it's a love song, I don't think so. I think it's about yourself, or your self conscious. It is tell you the roads to take. It also tells you that if you mess up at some point in life, your mind will save you, or at least it might. I had more on my mind, but I guess I lost it, Ha oh well, but you get the point? Hopefully. Lol.

"I'll Comeback!"

So, "The Butterfly Effect," is by far my favorite movie of all time. It's so twisted in the most greatest way. I know this movie is from like '03 or some shit, but I still love it. Yeah, sorry about the random post. You guys probably don't even care, lol.

You're Making Me Shine.

"Look at me mommy, I'm the brightest star of them all!" Yeah. I remember when I said that to my mother several years ago when I was just a little kid. Now look at me. I've grown up so fast. I rarely remember the ruins of my past. It's good in some ways, yet terrible in others. Yet, overall, some memories may be good, but they must be forgotten.

"You have a future ahead of you, kid!" Yeah. My Dad told me that all the time. Did I mention it's coming from a grown man who didn't graduate passed middle school? I mean, poor guy considering he's my Dad and all, and I've taken 90% of my genes from him. I wish my family was rejoined again. You know, before my Dad walked out on us when I was 5. I wish a lot of things would come back to normal again..

You know, ever since I met you about 9 months ago, you have really showed that wonderful thing inside of me to the whole world. You're making me shine, sweetie. I never though anyone could do it, but you have. I'm serious. My lack of self confidence has decreased; I actually appreciate myself now. Not just my looks, but just about everything. Honestly, without you in my life, I'd be the same old kid, as dull as it could get. As a matter of fact, I may have been an implosion of my own rotten, yet fully grown soul. Thank you, you beautiful Angel.

You know, I've been thinking a lot today, considering I stayed home from school. I think I found out who I really am.
Let's hear it:
-An outsider
-Different
-Sorta outgoing
-Not so intelligent, but knows how to think outside the box, which gives me my intelligence
-Kind
-Harmless, yet I can kill you with words, or a distinct smile
-I like to cry, you build strength
That's about it.

Basically, I've found myself. After 15 fucking years, I finally found myself. I want you all to know though, no matter where I find myself, or what happens to myself, she's always going to be there for me. She'll be right by my side. My intentions are gold.

Thank You God!

Well, in case you haven't noticed, I got my computer back! I mean seriously, it took long enough ha.

So in case you're wondering what's going on, here's a little list:
-Got Computer back
-Brittany and I are doing great!
-Friends are coming a little closer again
-Mom's limiting my "freedom." Bitch.
-I love my phone ha
-Guitar is coming out a lot better
-Not doing as good in school
-Less bad dreams
And that's about it! :)

Day 3: Not Sure Anymore

No computer, I'm on my Brothers laptop. Luckyy him, he gets a brand new laptop and I get shit. Fucking jerk. Oh well, mine better get fixed though..

Honestly, I'm not sure anymore. I tell you the sweetest things ever, and after, you'll giggle, and just blabber on about something else like I didn't even say anything. I know I've told you that "you mean everything to me" a bunch of times lately, but it's because you do. Sometimes you don't take it into consideration. I'm trying to state a point when I say it more than be sweet to be honest. I just wish you'd tell me sweet things too. It would just warm me on the inside. Also, I just hate having "odd" feelings lately with things. Like I know it was a while ago, and I'm 99% over it, but just the fact that you gave Chris your number, when you NEVER give out your number, kinda makes me think differently. I do wonder if you've done this before. I just wish you were a little more open about things like I am to you. Being open would keep a slightly healthier relationships, especially if you want things to last like me. I know it will all work out eventually. Also, if I were to get jealous, or mad in any way because of it, that's my problem. I just hope some other boy doesn't come sweeping you off your feet, and left in the dark tunnel waiting to be shanked. Just be a bit more honest with me babe, I know you can. I just don't want this to cause a problem. And to tell the truth, I'm not sad and//or mad about your honesty, I just think it needs some improving. You'll understand, and I hope you read this.
I love you <3

Day 2: Follow

You're talking and talking to him now, just like "old times." Well I remember the old times, you told me yourself. It's leading to something bad. You know it as well as I do. Should I trust your actions? I can't really tell. One slip, it's done. Sorry.

Day 1: Freedom

Or at least I thought it was. I had my hand out for you to grab on and be free, but the sins pulled you in. Now you're trapped; practically locked up until you're told otherwise you can leave. Yet, I still wonder, and I always will, but why, oh why were you pulled in. Why didn't I put my hand out for reach fast enough? My intentions were gold, but my actions were false. Nothing was right. Not now, not ever. Day 1: Non-Successful. Simple as that.

DoubleYouTeeEff

Why does everyone think Brittany and I have had sex? Seriously, it's getting annoying now. We haven't had it, and we both agreed to wait on it until we are both prepared and it's the right time. Who knows when that will be, but besides that, we aren't doing it. I think we would know if we had sex don't you think? Yeah, we've thought about it every now and who knows, but honestly, we haven't even really came close to it. So everyone who thinks we have done "it" yet, please stfu. It would help a lot, and I hope Brittany's Dad reads this, and whoever else thinks we are doing it. Okay? I hope you get the point.

I'm Worthless, and Even You Know It.

I've been smothered by my own intentions and it's tearing me apart. Everything around me is spinning. The signs god is giving me, the signs you are giving me are just going right through me. Why so? I couldn't tell you, and no one could tell me.
Why are these dreams haunting me? They have minds of their own I tell you. They make me want to suffocate my own soul, and throw my life away. Nothing runs through my sleep smoothly anymore. It's always a risk factor that ends up awakening my useless body in the middle of dusk and making me bawl. Dreams like cheating, death, and life factors are the ones that trouble me most.
Things will get better, you tell me this all the time. I trust you. I trust every action said or done by you. It amazes me how you help me. You are the cure to all of this. You're there for my rotting body. You, yes you; you know who you are, and you know that you are helping me. I hope you read this, and I hope you take it into consideration, you are my life. You can save me, I know you can...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

It's departure time. The plane has stopped, I have gotten off swiftly as if I'd seen a ghost. Nothing seemed right. Everyone looked dead; very pale. Their voices--mono toned. "Why is everyone like this?" I had said to myself while biting off each and every one of my jagged, half-bitten nails.

A twitch had overcame my weak body. My body heat seemed very cool, and I felt moist. Was it the sweat? Oh the sweet sweat of my nervousness. Soon, I felt lost. I lost something on the plane, didn't I? DIDN'T I! Oh for crying out loud, SOMETHING WAS ON THAT PLANE! Where did it go? Where is it? Hold on, and let my conscious work its way through this one. Yes! My God, YES! I remember now. It was her. It wasn't a thing, it was a human being. But I'm still asking myself, "Where is she? What's her name? Why did I lose her?" These thoughts trembled me through the terminal, and on the way home...

Arriving at my home, a gust of wind blows me over to where I had stumbled slightly. I knew it, I knew my body had felt weak. But WHY?! "WHY GOD, WHY!?" I screamed. I sit down on my front step, where I encounter a note. The note had read, "Meet me on the corner of Hill St. in 20 minutes." I thought to myself, "Now this isn't an ordinary person. They must know me somehow. they must have known where I had just recently been; Wyoming. To know where I would be at exact time, exact place, this thing must have been some sort of secret. Wait a second now, maybe, oh lord just maybe, it's her! Could this be what I've been searching for? Only if, only..if.

Twenty minutes have past as I have been waiting by Hill St. for what it feels like days. My luck is slowly running out now as I look down the street and a black, tall, lanky silhouette figure started to approach Hill St. Now it's getting closer, and closer. For God sakes, it has no face! NO FACE AT ALL! Yet, with a soft tone in it's voice, it gently says "I'm everything you've lost. You miss every single memory, every thought, every hope, and every fucking dream. Take my hand, you will encounter success in gaining back what you've lost." Slowly I reach out my hand, and after I grabbed her hand, I tried taking it back. No. That was not an option. Her mouth opened widely and as if not feeling a thing, my body had disappeared into my past. There was no more future for me..

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Nothing ends happily anymore does it? I try and I try and I try to make this work. I'm sorry I've been sad lately. I'm sorry I'm making YOU sad. Those weren't my intentions. This isn't supposed to be happening. I'm trying to be happier. You know that I have an awkward mind. I told you that from the start.
I get beat. I get thrown to the ground. I get laughed at. I get doubted. I get humiliated. Yet, I don't get happiness. I don't know what it is. You just act different lately. When we started, you NEVER wanted to NOT see me, not you're drifting, and now you don't want to see me as much. Why? What did I do? Everyone says 'sex' ruins relationships, but we haven't had sex. What if we did? Would it bring us closer together? Would we be able to forget about sadness? No, of course not.
I'm truley sorry my dreams are fucked. A lot of them come true. I wish a lot of them didn't. Most of them I haven't told you about, yet they all involve you. I don't tell you because I'm trying to overcome my sadness and be happy so you're happier. I'm done making you sad. I'm done making you cry. I'm done seeing you get hurt because of my low self-esteem. I wish I were a better person to where I could make you happier. I know you don't want to leave me, but I wish all of my dreams wouldn't tell me other wise. I've had the same dream for the past 4 nights. It's rediculous. This is rediculous.
Yes, I had fun at the beach today, and thank you for inviting me. But it's like, you don't feel like kissing me anymore. You don't really want to hug me anymore. For God sakes, I have to ask to have one. What did I do to deserve this? What did you do to deserve this. I'm not ever going to leave you, that's a promise. No matter how mad, sad, or any other terrible emotion that strikes me, I'll always be happy knowing that you're mine and I get to see you a lot. But now you're telling me you want to see me one day a week, and MAYBE the weekend. You can't just adjust to something like that. That's like me deciding to go to Massachusetts. That's how it's going to feel if I just see you one time a week, and possible the weekend. I just don't think that's fair. I'm sorry that I get sad when I fucking make plans and I get told that you already made plans without telling me. I'm trying to not be controlling, I'm really not because that's not a healthy relationship.
You know I love you, and you know I always will. Just please take this blog into consideration. I'd really like it if you took a walk in my shoes for a day Brittany, you'd see how my mind functions, you'd see how I get these mental breakdowns, you'd see how hard I fucking try to make you happy and then it turns out that you're sad when I become happy.
I'm not sure what to do about this situation because it's your choice too. I hope you read this. I love you, thank you for starting my life. I mean it.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Yano, sometimes I just don't get it. You'd rather watch some celebrities on TV than talk to me..

I mean, not to sound rude, but that just puts me down considering I would do anything for you.

Maybe you just don't feel the same towards me. You seem to act different when you are somewhere else other than your house or with me. I just don't know what it is...

Be honest..

Would you do anything for me? Would you drop what you were doing to help me out or at least talk to me? I would for you. Idk, this is just putting me in a bad mood.

I don't know..bye.

Friday, March 27, 2009

So it all started from a strum of my acoustic guitar. The soft sound of the strings brightened her face more than the sun could any day. Her smile was wider than the oceans surface, and her eyes were glistening in the soft fluorescent light; her beautiful brown eyes. The strumming became a beat; a beat of happiness and glee.
As soon as my lips opened widely, her smile grew bigger. A soft voice trembled out of my lips,

"You got the concept, it came to the conclusion, that the top floor was just an illusion, to the fact that I got this break in my back, and how I can't get it out; I can't figure out how.."
Noticing the song, it looked like she wanted to tag along, yet that look of happiness also had a strong look of concentration; she was looking straight at me the entire time. I know because everytime I would glance up after looking at the strings, making sure they were the right cords, she would still be looking at me.
My mouth didn't just hurt from singing, or making out, it hurt from smiling. Smiling because she was smiling. Smiling from nervousness. She had been the first person I had played guitar in front of. It amazed me. The feeling of it was just so great. My gut was filled with joy, and a swarm of butterflies. My leg was twitching from the nervousness, and moving to the beat. Everything was just working out how I planned; perfect.

I love you<3

Yes, way.

No picture today! But this is just a blog to tell everyone that starting tomorrow, I'm going to be posting journal updates, meaning, I'm going to start a journal a here. I want everyone to know what's going on in my life. I thought it would be a whole lot easier to do it on here. Buuut, I'm off to school! It's raining today, I like it. Yet, I hate getting drenched, ha. Oh well (:

Simple Post.

Here's My Flikr Link:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31296239@N03/

It hasn't been updated at ALL yet, but it will be soon! I promise. For now, just wait! Ha.
New Blog Today or Tomorrow Also! So watch out for that :D

Lust.

She grabbed my hand and gave a devilsh, yet adorable smirk. I couldn't help but think about sex, or so to say lust with her. My bedroom is to where she led me swiftly, yet fashionably. As the door closed softly, and the door's lock ticked, she took off my shirt, placed me on the bed, and started kissing my chest. She moved down slowly, moving her hips in the most loveliest way I've ever seen. My pants had gotten undone, yet not by her cute little hands, but by her teeth; the teeth that could leave the most marvelous love bite on my lower body. As my pants were getting undone by her teeth, I nervously took off her shirt, and undid her bra. While she was kissing my chest, she moved up slowly to my neck, and then to my lips. Our toungues slipped into each others mouths after several slow kisses. By now, all I could think about was sex. Trust me, it was a lot more than what I was thinking of at first.
After several minutes of lushious kisses, I slowly reached my hand down cautiously towards her jeans and unbuttoned then with some struggle. I turned her over quickly, yet smoothly, to where I was now on top. After doing so, we ended up both reaching down to one anothers underwear. I knew that the next step after that was what I had been thinking about the whole night; sex. Yet, the both of us were virgins; we have never had this experience before.
I could tell by the look in her eyes that she had some state of fright going on in her head. I had the same feeling. Suddenly, she pulled down my boxers. By this point, I knew what was going to happen so I reached my hand down her underwear, and with my other hand I contacted her hand and held it tightly. I slowly put one finger in, then after she felt a little more comfortable, I put two, and after she felt even more comfortable, I pulled off her underwear. I gave her a kiss, looked her in the eyes and said, "It will hurt at first, just hold my hand, everything will be ok..."

- Just to inform everyone, this didn't really happen. Haha. And the picture is of me btw. And to tell you all the truth, it was taken on accident. I accidently pressed the timer button when I was taking the picture and a noise occured outside. I guess I have an epic case of A.D.D? Lol.

I Ran For You, You Ran to Me..

The light winds never felt so great as it rushed through my long hair. All I could see was the back of you as you ran swiftly along the shore. The sun was shining directly on your body and you were smiling. Yet, behind you, was me. The sun never shined on me, not once. Why was this? Did I deserve to be dark, sensitive, emotional? I don't believe so, because although I'm not having the sun shine upon me, I know that at least it's shining upon your luscious face. I also know that no matter what, I don't need a sun to shine upon my soul to keep me happy, because sweetie, you keep a smile on my face throughout everything. Just tell me though, do you need a sun to keep you smiling?
While running, you suddenly stopped. You ran to me, and leaped recklessly onto me as I caught you and slowly fell backwards into the hot sand. Yet, the sand didn't feel as hot due to the fact that your face was an interesting distraction; anyone would be struck by it. While on top of me I asked, "Sweetie, the sun isn't shining on you. Why?"
"I don't need a sun to make me happy, I have you," she said calmly as she gave me a soft kiss and a sweet grin.

You like to do this, don't you?

You were wandering in the streets like a cold lost puppy and sadly I wanted to go over and give you at least the slightest comfort but you didn't want anything to do with me. Instead of taking it into consideration, I tried and tried my hardest to get your attention. All I wanted was for you to glance your beautiful face in my direction for at least five seconds, but I could even get that. It's like, I was invisible; like I wasn't even on the planet Earth. If you didn't want anything to do with my why couldn't you just tell me? Are you too scared that I'd hurt myself because that IS something to be afraid over because I WOULD end my life if I couldn't be with you. I've told you before that you were my everything. Not just a piece of something, but EVERYTHING. So fuck it, you don't want anything to do with me, than leave. Just know that you'll be ending a life that could change you and make you better. Come to my arms beautiful, I can save you...

Puppy Eyes.

I looked at you with such love. Your eyes glistened in the yellow, beaming sunlight, and your whole entire face lit up with such beauty. I'm sure if I were to designate anybody to stand where I was at that moment, and make them look at your lovely eyes, they'd probably tell me exactly what I think about them.

I have realized that now, you mean everything to me. Yes me, the one who hasn't accepted much into his lonely, yet not lonley now, life. You've lightened my days with happiness since day one, and you will continue to light up my days until day "death." Our hearts will race rapidly, our souls will run freely; we will feel infinite. We'll cry together, we'll smile together, we'll do everything together. Our lives will continue as "you and I", and "you and I" only.

Arguments have raced upon our warm hearts at times, yet we find a way to break through everything, and realize that without each other, we'd be nothing. You've found the inner me, and I have found what I've destined to visualize since I was born.

God, you're with me, and you have given me all the strength I can carry, if not even more. You, yes you, are my God.

A Little Heads Up...

So, in case you guys didn't know, my name's Anthony Christian. I'm just a young 15 year old writer searching for a place to practice more of my short stories I've been working on. Currently, I live in the "Sunshine State," Florida. I've figured out now that I currently like it here more than I like Massachusetts, where I originally came from after 13 years. Honestly, Florida has made a huge impact on my life, and I believe I've found the real me.

Actually, not only did Florida make me find my inner lifestyle and personality, my wonder girlfriend, Brittany Lee Coletti did. I've found that I have had many so called "girlfriends" in my life, but you know what? I've never in God's name met anyone so beautiful, so passionate, and so perfect. Her and I have been dating for 5 months now, and I admit, we do argue sometimes, and it's mostly over dumb little things, but you know what? I'm going to be with this girl until the day I die. She's everything anybody can ask for and I'm glad she's all mine. Honestly, she is just like picking a luscious, red rose out of a field of blown out dandelions. I love this girl, she means the entire world to me.

In case you haven't read my about me yet, it tells you I am a writer/blogger, a photographer, and a painter. Writing has actually just became one of my hobbies. I tend to come up with fascinating short stories (in my opinion) mainly about love, horror, and suspense, some even combined. My photography has been lacking a bit lately, because maybe it's because I'm taking to many pictures of myself, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's not photography. I'm very creative with most things, but lately I've just been having an artist spasm so to say. Other than writing and photography however, I am a painter. A big inspiration on me is the one and only, Alex Pardee. His art work is always fun to look at, and it's always the more creative and fascinating art work, even though it is creepy. I'm going to work on posting just about everything I work on, on this lovely website.

So, now that you've all gotten a sudden glance at what kind of person I am, from now on you can all look at my blogs, and if you want to talk, I'll be glad to, just no flirting! I'm being serious, I don't like when people know I have a girlfriend and you hoes have to start flirting! Anyways, want to add my myspace?

Here's the link:

http://myspace.com/d3ad123

Here's the link to my youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/anthonyXisXhardcore

And I am going to have a flikr soon! So be patient :]