It's All Downhill Tonight.

Just as I think my day was going great today, it all turns to shit. I'm being serious.

Let me tell you how good my day WAS going. First off, I was getting along great with my Brother, and we NEVER get along. I even gave him a really good haircut today, and I was really proud of myself. Also, I got a lovely text message from my girlfriend this morning, and it said, "Goodmorning baby! I'll call when we get back today. I love youu! Bye handsome <3">.>
After that though, we had all gone out to eat at Chili's. The food was great, and nothing had gone wrong. To me, it seemed like we got our food awfully fast!

Sorry to ruin everything, but here comes the bad part...
So I get home after a great time and I went on myspace and noticed that my girlfriend had been frustrated with something. So I called her as soon as I noticed it and her sister answered the phone and had told me she was in the shower. So I waited until she got out, or until her sister told her that I had called. So after about an hour of waiting, she tells me the bad news. I guess her Mom's boyfriend had been drinking, like always, and kept yelling and yelling at her. So, I got upset from that, cause I hate that man, a lot. Then, my girlfriend tells me that some boy, that we despise with a passion, is staying the night at her house. OH! Not to mention this boy used to like Brittany, a lot. He'd leave picture comments flirting with her and shit while we were dating. So, of course, I am nervous. Not because of her, cause I know she'd never do that to me, but because of him. I swear to God, I never will fight a single soul on this universe, but if he lays a hand on her, he's going to get his ass kicked, no doubt. I'm tired of people trying to get in the middle of every single one of my relationships, and I'm NOT going to let some kid get in the middle of my best one yet. And I'm sorry if you read this Brittany, but I think it was pretty hypocritical of you honestly. You got sad because someone from school told me she'd see me at my brother's orientation, which in fact I didn't even see, and you expect me not to be sad over this?

I think this whole jealousy thing needs to be solved. I'm tired of it, you're tired of it. We can't keep having jealousy issues with over stupid people. It is good to have every now in then to be cautious of things, but not now. We are just teenagers, we need to start being more of adults about everything. We're strong I know we can do it baby.

I'm going to go read my book. Sorry about this rant, I was just getting to me.

p.s. I just coughed up blood. Great :/

NeverendingSleep.

After a long day, I decided some lovely rest for my eyes would be lovely on my part, yet before I did fall into a rock hard sleep, I decided to text her because it had seemed as if I had to end the conversation with a sweet, "I love you," and a "goodnight." So while waiting for a reply, which had never came to my side of the phone, I fell asleep. I guess they are right when they say, "things happen for a reason."

My eyes are now sown tightly together as the film strip clicks and clicks, while showing me the way things would be with no one; on my own. Everything was dark. No one was there. It felt like I was starring in the movie "Cube," or some shit. Noises, strange ones, were coming from every direction. There were sounds, silent sounds, similar to a dog whistle, yet it was for the human ear only.

Stumbling back and fourth, I realized that this is what it's like with no one there in your life. I realized how great full I am to have my girlfriend, my family, and of course my friends.

What get's me is...what do you think would have happened if I got a text message that night from her?

So The Wonder Begins

I've come to a conclusion, that ever since I've started dating Brittany, I've discovered a whole new me. I feel like a better person, and I feel as if I can think things through more. I'm so glad that her an I are together. And it's been almost a year!

By the way, sorry about the whole, "not posting a blog in a while" thing. I haven't really had anything to talk about really, but now I do!

So my Mom has actually came to the conclusion that she can fully trust me. Ever since I've realized that, I've been gaining more respect for her, and she seems to be having more respect in me too. Things are just going great, and I love it. I mean, for God's sake, my Mom has let Brittany stayed the night here, and I'm glad my Mom and her get a long well.

Out of all of this happiness, I do have one thing to say. I'm absolutely sick of everyone doing drugs, and drinking, and smoking, and posting it, and bragging about it EVERYWHERE. Seriously people, must you do that? God, must you do drugs in the first place? Drugs are just as overrated as Twighlight, The Jonas Brothers, Lady Gaga, and now 3OH3!

Another great thing I've realized, is that I've been getting back into skateboarding again, A LOT more. I skate just about every Tuesday and Thursday, and honestly, the little break from skateboarding I took I think helped me out a lot more. I'm not as afraid to do things I couldn't do before.

Anyways, new video on youtube tomorrow! Hopefully! I'm trying to be more original, because I don't want to be like all the other vloggers and youtubers. Here's the link, views would be nice, and so would subscribers!
youtube.com/abolishanthony
And if you haven't followed me on Twitter yet, then here's that link also-
twitter.com/abolishanthony

I love you guys! Buh bye..

Wishes for the helpless.

I wish I could be less of a fuck up.
I wish I could please everybody.
I wish I could take apart my body when not in use of something.
I wish I could have a better mother.
I wish I didn't have paranoid thoughts.
I wish things weren't interrupted; time flies by anyways.
I wish God would help me, not through everything, but when there was nothing else to go to.
I wish I didn't have to make these wishes; nothing is ever easy. Not Now Not Ever.

Banish me from here.

Idek.

I'm having a very strong lack of patience lately. I feel selfish, yet at the same time, you are pretty much the reason for this. I try to make this work, but all I seem to do is fuck it up. I'm trying to see you as much as possible, because we're going to be away from each other for two and a half weeks while I'm gone.
You know, something tells me that you don't feel the same about me anymore. You feel like I've drifted from you. You always say I make things hard on you, and honestly, that's what a fuck up is. I mess everything up that walks in my path, it's like a curse that has probably been passed down from generation to generation, and now is stuck right with me. Seriously, I've been cheated on, I've been used, I've been accused of things I haven't done, I have "SCAPEGOAT" written on my forehead.
I'm not trying to rush you with crap, but it's like, you don't want to hangout with me, and you just aren't telling me because you think I'll be sad. For God sakes, of course I'm going to be sad, but be honest with me. You haven't really been doing that, and it's like, if I say "Well, I can tell that you don't want to hangout today, so it's whatever, we'll hangout some other time.." then you get all offensive and get mad at ME. I just want honesty. I just want you to tell me when you don't want to do something, because like I said before, my honest opinion is that you either have been like this before and kept a good secret about it, or you just don't care for me as much as you used to. I really would like to know. What I really do want to know though, is why?
You weren't like this before, you're different now. You don't act the same around me. You seem to have an attitude with me lately. I'm trying to let you run things the way you want, but I'm doing the wrong thing by that, because it's supposed to be what WE want, not just you, not just me. Another thing that's nagging me is that you never set a time or anything to see me, or make plans. For an example; every time we see each other. I'm trying to make this a little more organized, wouldn't you like that? It's easier. I could be doing other things, I could be hanging out with my friends instead of sitting here and doing nothing but waiting and losing my patience. You always say that I should hangout with my friends, but if you are going to hangout with me at like 5, or 5:30, i.e. "today" then, let me know therefore I could plan for something for ME to do. It's really not fair, that you can do what YOU want for the time before you see me, and I can't. I just don't know anymore, but I hope you read this. I'm really not mad at you, I'm just getting a little agitated by it because I'm trying to help this relationship, because I don't want it to weaken anymore than it already has. I'm sorry.

Seriously,

If I see one more picture of anything Twilight related, I'm honestly going to explode. I can't stand it anymore. Robert and Kristen(Kirsten?) are such terrible actors. The love concept behind the movie sucked. I can't really say anything about the book, but all I can say is that Twilight is 100% overrated. They're only making a new movie because they know that all these teenage girls thought Edward was "hot" and most of them probably fucking masturbated to them. Not all, because I know a couple of people who aren't THAT attracted to him, but yeah. Anyways, they should have kept it as a book, and a book only. Also, I hate how they compare it to Harry Potter. I mean c'mon, Harry Potter is so much better. Anyone ever heard of "Alex Evans?" He practically looks like Harry Potter's twin for goodness sakes, and no one is going to sweat his dick?

Sorry, I just had to vent this shit out because it was pissing me off. But it helped.
Be glad to state your honest opinion, so I could either argue against, or agree with you.

Please//

God, if you're there, please help me. I'm in desperate need of you. I'm crying for forgiveness of my awful sins, I just need you to help me. Help me find a new opening, yet let me still be with the one girl I've committed my life to. Please God, please.